Not Only a Memory
by ChiDee
Summary: When Draco is in dillema between two... who will he choose? what will Harry do? will it be another memory in their love life? Read and Review...
1. For the time

Disclaimer : Not ours, J.K Rowling owns it. Harry Potter we mean!

xXx

It was after dinner, when one of the unused classrooms had a dim light in it. Two silhouettes seemed to be there in complete silence. Two young men stared at any direction but each other, until one of them started the conversation with a soft voice.

_I'm the one who can't forget the person who's standing between us. But I just can't let you go either for you always stand by me._

"Harry…" the tall, blond Slytherin said. "Please, look at me!"

The one with messy, black hair turned his head slowly to the other man direction. Pair of emerald eyes stared blankly at him. Draco Malfoy gasped at the pained look in those eyes.

"Harry, I…I'm sorry!" Draco strolled down, approaching the smaller man. He reached out to him, but stopped dead in his track when he saw Harry flinched back. "Harry…" he whispered in pain.

"Stay where you are Dray," said Harry blankly. "You can explain, but don't…don't take any step closer at me!"

"Alright, I'll tell you once again," Draco pinched his nose. "But, please don't judge me Harry." Harry nodded slowly, feeling uncertain. From that on, Draco retell his story.

_If and just if I've never met her, perhaps everything wouldn't have to be like this._

"I've met this girl at the party a week ago. It seemed that she is my mother's friend's daughter. We talked, and dance, and we talked again until we made the promise to meet again." Draco stopped at that, trying to find the best word to say. "All over this week, I regularly meet her, Harry. And… mother seems happy with that. You know, I love my mother. She's being sick, really makes me worried. And then she said that…that she would love to have a… daughter in-law, and…Harry… I love you…" he spoke the last part with pain, confusion, regret, and a hint of something that really wrenched Harry's heart.

"Is…she nice?" Harry asked hoarsely, pressing the soaring ache in his chest.

"She's….wonderful," there's a slight dreamy tone in Draco's answer. "She's the very opposite of Pansy. Elegant, polite, kind… she's wonderful."

Draco closed his eyes, never did he see the broken love which reflected in Harry's source of truth, as his eyes grew cold and sullen. The green eyed boy turned his back, holding his dam of tears that nearly broke, letting the needles of poison seeping slowly in his veins. No, the Harry Potter didn't want to let the tall, gorgeous, blond man see him breaking down.

"You love her…." Harry said in small voice.

"I…" Draco was speechless at a moment. Then he continued, "I love you…."

_You and her, both reside in my heart, that I don't know what to do anymore._

That moment, time seemed to stop. Harry prayed to all the Mighty above, wishing that he could still believe those 'L' word. But he found none in his shattered feeling, the warm that used to reside in it were already gone. No trust, no love.

_I apologize for sharing the love we have, because it's hard for me to leave her out._

"Harry… I'm sorry, just give me time then I'll just cut everything about her." Draco hurriedly said. He was afraid when Harry made no response to his answer. "I won't…"

_For the time that rolls on your side, please find in your heart a chance to forgive me._

"Leave…" Harry cut Draco's sentence in hushed tone. "Just leave Dra…Malfoy."

_How I wish I can have a choice. _

xXx


	2. precious memory

Disclaimer : Not ours, JKR owns it.

_**-Harry's POV-**_

It's been months. 1, 2, 3… 5 months to be exact, since my last encounter with Draco in that classroom, and today is my… our graduation day. All this time, I avoided him as much as I can. Thankfully, Ron and Hermione were there to help me cope.

Ron and Hermione were furious the first time I told them. Well, actually it was Ron who went mad, Hermione was angry indeed, but still had her calm and collected manner with her. She was the one who stopped Ron from his mutilation attempt towards Draco, and the one who soothed me in a very motherly way. I thanked her for that, really. She gave all the time I need to recollect myself, to knit my shattered feeling, even to busy, or should I say exhaust myself as I wouldn't need the cry overcome my sleep.

As to Draco, we shared many classes together. But I always ended up myself to sit in front row with either Ron or Hermione by my side. That's surely stopped him in his tact to get to talk with me in class. And then, when we had mealtimes in Great Hall, I sat with my back faced him from time to time. Then there was potion, we were paired of course, thanks to Snape, but I always kept my gaze lower and never looked in his grey eyes. For once, I concentrated hardly in potion as I never need Hermione's help to do my homework or simply to understand the meanings of any potions anymore. And for once, I made Snape gaped at me.

I was running away, yes, I admit that. But, what can I do? I had to do something. I had to occupy myself to keep my sanity. I needed time, to think all over with maturity. I needed time to reconsider what I had until today, what I would've gained, and what I would've lost. I needed time to… to make any decision with cold head, and steeled my heart as to not regret any of it.

And it came down to one conclusion. I _love_ him, deeply. Very deep that if his anxiety will be solved with me gone, then I will. I will step out from his life as to what his beloved mother would want, and I will _only_ smile at him, and not be his anchor. He will be happy with that girl, and make a perfect picture of family, that's what I believe, that's what I _have to_ believe.

I love him _enough_ to set him free. I already have his love _only_ for me, and that is enough to help me stand strong. This is my sacrifice, this is my love _only_ for him.

xXx

_**-Draco's POV-**_

Today is my graduation day, and today is my last day being able to see him in person. I miss him, I miss my Harry so much for all this time. He avoided me; that I know. And I don't and never blame him for that. I'm a jerk; like what his best friend spat the word in my face. As much as it hurts, I accept and admit it myself. Why can't I be loyal? Why my heart is such a weak which gave up easily to a simple girl's charm? That I don't know how to answer. Not even now.

I've tried so hard to speak with him for the last five months, but we barely even looked at each other. Then I tried to catch his eyes when we're in potions, but he refused stubbornly. I was desperate. I didn't know what to do anymore, therefore I gave up. I gave up catching his attention; I gave up in my attempt to have any communication with him.

I just watched him for a far. I watched his back in meals; I watched his deep concentration in potions; I watched him torture himself. I knew that Granger girl knew I kept an eye on him, and she just let me. And for once, I ultimately grateful to the muggleborn.

To be honest, I wanted to crawl to his knees and begged for sorry, when I saw his tear-streaked face. But I couldn't let myself do that, damn my pride and my stupid feeling. Not for him though, I always cherished it, but my feeling to the girl. I'm utterly hopeless, as I, until this second, still can't let her go.

I love Harry, but I love my mother too. And the girl, Angela Foseau, is my mother's source of happiness. I know what she, my mother, wants; me settle down with a _fit_ daughter from a noble family and have children. I can't blame her, I'm her only boy and the heir of my family. That's why she was reluctant when I was first informed her of me and Harry being together.

I sighed, this is hard. And since Harry refused to have any link with me, I may just have to let him go. As hard as it is, I have to try to move on. But somethings really missing… deep in _here_, although I don't know what.

Maybe that's what they say about _guilty_. I never had a chance to say sorry though.

A cold stare snap me from my muse. I look up and meet my friends, Blaise and Pansy hard stare towards me. I smile bitterly, I know they're mad if not furious at me. They were the ones who were happy with me coupled with Harry, _hell_, they even matched us. Now they see my unfaithfulness in a form of a girl who sits beside me.

Yes, my parents and Angela come to my graduation party. Mother told them about me being engaged with Angela and the wedding will be held soon after this day event. The said moment, Pansy and Blaise gave me a darkest look they could utter, and silently dragged me out of sight for a while. Then they interrogated me followed soon with an accusation of me being an utterly bastard. For once, I didn't oppose them.

Today, is the day I'm out from this school; today is the day I risk myself of losing my love; and today is the day I definitely loose my very best friend.

xXx

_**-Normal POV-**_

The feast, the graduation feast was merry. Happy chatters were heard from corner to corner of the room. Parents came to see their children graduated and soon would took them away. All the seventh years talked to each other with silly grins, tears, and dreamy nostalgic expressions on their faces. But not for Harry. He had this serious expression as if he forced all his determination to face this day.

From across the room, worries glance were casted to the said boy from Pansy and Blaise. They had taken alike to the small and delicate boy, and they love how the said boy changed Draco for the better. In Gryffindor table, Harry took a deep breath and both of his friends gave a small squeeze to encourage him. A strained smile formed on his face.

From the stage, where the Head table was used to be placed, Dean Thomas stood proudly as he successfully and attractively rundown show after show.

"… okay…That was a marvelous song from the Patil's sisters who sung Graduation," praised Dean. The said sisters grinned broadly at him. "And next for the last show, we have Harry Potter, come on to the stage The-Boy-Who-Lived, it's your turn now!" joked Dean.

All the audience suddenly stopped their chattering and stared at the ebony haired boy. Harry took another wary glance to his friends who nodded at them. He, with blushing face, reluctantly came to the stage. Up on the stage, he was given another gentle squeeze from Dean before the latter boy stepped out.

Harry took the microphone and put it in front of his lips. He flied a brief glance, for the first time, to Draco before he said in raspy voice. "I… I want to sing a song… and dedicated it to the one…" he stopped for a moment, "..ones… I love."

Harry flicked his wand, and soon the sound of piano in a slow melody could be heard. Harry closed his eyes, and soon the memories run through his mind. His shy confession to Draco, his first holding hands with Draco, his first kiss shared with Draco…

It ached his heart, and he sang his pain out…

_I'm the one who weak without you_

_I'm fragile because the loss of your firm love to help me stand through_

_As long as my eyes still see the light_

'_till the time that my heart stop to fight_

_That's how long I can keep you still in my mind_

_From you I found my reason to live_

_And you're my true love as I believe_

_If what was written for me is the best for you_

_Then I shall simply make you only a precious memory in my history_

_Though it will never be as simply for me to take aside of you_

_That was eternally carved as my most precious memory_

At the end of the song, Harry let out a single tear before he bowed his head. No one clapped, only sobs heard as responses. Once Harry set his face straight to the audience, gone was the trace of his tear. His emerald eyes shone brightly and held nothing but acceptance. The clapped on his back made Harry turned his head and faced the sympathy from Dean. Harry shook his head slightly, refused the said feeling. He made his way down the stage and strolled silently to the Gryffindor table. He took his seat, this time facing the Slytherin's, which table was across from his.

That time he locked eyes with Draco's gray eyes. Harry could recognize the looks of regret, guilty, and disbelief. But Harry only gave him a bitter smile in return.

xXx

_Harry's song was for me!_ Screamed Draco in his mind. _He let me go. It just seemed that he was the one in fault and set me free when it should have been me…_

The feast was over. People started to pile out from the Great Hall. Draco still stared at Harry in wide shock. Harry was exchanging hugs with his dorm-mates, eyes glistening from the unshed tears, but never let them fall. He forced a smile to them and none noticed it, except maybe Ron, Hermione, and Draco.

"You lost him, Draco, forever!" said Pansy flatly. He turned and only watched Pansy walked away with Blaise.

Draco felt as if he was slapped. Unconsciously his eyes roamed the Hall, only to find a pair of green emerald eyes looked in his direction with the same bitterness as his smile before. Draco's heart clenched while his pulse turned faster. He witnessed in tight silence, not completely aware of his surroundings, when the ebony haired man gave him a small smile, an enough smile to reflect goodbye.

Draco gasped at the pain in his heart when he saw Harry, with Ron and Hermione, walked out from his sight. The word of _loss_ finally came down upon him, and he scared, scared to the next realization that he _will_ _not_ ever see him again, _forever_. That's what the mean of the _loss_ word, and his _precious love_ is what he lost _forever_.

Draco was torn. While his heart wanted him to run and make up for his fault, his brain commanded him to stay. And that's what stopping him from chasing his love. He felt ashamed, regret, and guilty, mostly felt unworthy for all the love he ever shared with the 'hero' boy. He continued his grieving until a soft tap on his shoulder made him look up.

His father, Lucius Malfoy, looked at him with a soft expression, not smiling, but only understanding. Behind him was Narcissa, she had a guilty and sympathy mixed look towards her miserable state of son. The said mother finally realized just how much her son's love to the Potter boy, even though he didn't realize it himself. The love which was enough to make him swim in a pool of regret for the rest of his life. He was a Malfoy, after all. Small tears trickled down on her face, when she shoved her way to hug Draco.

"Go, son, grab your happiness. If you think he is fit to your worth, then never let him go," Narcissa said in soft voice. "A Malfoy always get what he is meant to keep and never let his precious slip away. Remember that, my son!"

Surprised but still uncertain, Draco took his gaze right to his dear mother who's sobbing silently on his shoulder. "But… mother… I can't…" he said in small quivering voice.

"Oh, my Dragon… my boy…" Narcissa pulled away. "You've done so much for me already, dear. I apologize, my sweet, for my attempt… for my denial of your love to him. If I only have your misery in return of this arranged wedding, then I shall want nothing of it. I'm sorry Draco. Go for him, and tell him I'm sorry."

Draco nearly leapt in joy of grateful for his parents understanding, when he caught a sight of Angela. Soon, guilty washed on him again. The girl smiled softly at him and shook her beautiful head.

"No, Draco… don't apologize. I would've seen this coming. And I was, actually, but my stubborn little mind force me to believe that you will move on by my side. _This_ only mean that I was wrong and that you're not, never was and never will belong with me. For that, I am sorry, Draco," she said soothingly.

They pushed Draco with their look. And Draco, with their approval, took a run to find his Harry, his love, and his life.

xXx

Draco was Apparated to the place where he knew he would find Harry. Earlier, he had confronted Hermione and Ron to tell him where Harry could possibly be. He was frantic when caught no sight of his love among the trio Gryffindor. After begged and plead, they reluctantly told him where Harry was. Draco knew they were hesitant to give him this piece of information. They were Harry's shield of protection after all. And after Draco did a marvelous job to break him down, there's no way in hell they could trust his love towards their best friend easily, not wanting to hurt Harry furthermore.

It was Hermione who gave Draco a stern warning, and she meant every word of hers. She let Draco knew Harry's whereabout, despite Ron's protests. But before that, she demanded an oath from the desperate boy, an oath to never hurt Harry anymore. Draco swore the words without hesitation.

And there he was, in a ruin of Godric's Hollow, where the place that Hermione told him. She said Harry would stop by there for a moment, before leaving with Remus Lupin to live with him and his wife, Nymphadora Tonks. Draco needed to be hurry, he just hoped that he wasn't too late, that Harry wasn't leaving yet. And the sight of his ex-Professor relieved him.

"Where is he?" Draco asked urgently. "Where is Harry?"

Lupin looked at him oddly. He seemed able to see through Draco's façade, and saw his vulnerability and misery. He smiled softly and gently lifted his hand, pointed at an area covered with bushes. Draco took a deep breath, and walked slowly to the said way.

Once Draco neared the place, he could hear a soft noise. A soft strangled sob came from a boy on his knees, facing on somewhat like two big rocks. _Tombs. _Draco approached him silently but Harry was surely caught in his own world. Draco stopped in his track when he distinguished soft whispers came between the sobbing.

"…Mom…tell Sirius I love him, and I'm sorry. Yeah, I know you would probably scold me for blaming myself, but I can't help it Dad …" whispered Harry. "It's all because of me…Sirius' death…"

Draco's heart wrenched at a broken sound Harry emitted. He wanted to hug and comforting the smaller man, kissing him here and there, telling him it was alright and none were his fault. But he stopped once again, when he heard his name rolled smoothly from Harry's mouth.

"And now, Draco's anxiety… I love him mom… I wish I could be selfish, but I couldn't… it'll only hurt him. That's why I let him go, he's far better off without me. I know he loves his parents deeply, and that he values them highly. Like I do to you…to both of you, and Sirius… and Remus." Harry wiped his tears. "Funny how I always thought… That I'm The-Boy-Who-Lived, I've got the fame that everybody envy, I've got the wealth that is enough 'till the day I die, and I have two loving friends that will stand by me for all eternity, but two things I adore most, family and love of my life, were seemed never meant to be mine…. But, don't worry mom… dad… Siri… I've got all my strength to stand. As for Draco, I will keep him in the depth of my heart as a memory of mine, like the three of you…"

Draco couldn't stand the sight anymore. He threw himself at the small, shivering back of the man he love. Draco buried his face in Harry's neck, tears flowing freely and sorry was muttered repeatedly.

Harry's breath hitched, he turned sharply and bound to see the blonde flocks. _He heard…? Why is he here?_ He wondered. Pain surged him once again. _Why is Draco making this harder?_

Slowly, Draco trailed his gaze up, from Harry's neck to the depth of emerald eyes. "..Sorry… I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" Draco cupped Harry's face, kissing cheek, forehead, nose, and eyelids.

"Wh…why…are you here…Dra… Malfoy?" Harry stuttered.

"I don't want to let you go, I won't let you be only _my_ memory, Harry. You're my life. Please, forgive me? Will you take me back, Harry? Please…?" Draco plead.

"But…but… what about… her…?... what about…" Harry mouthed 'your mother' in silence.

"They knew and they understood," Draco turned Harry to face him. He touched Harry's forehead with his own. "I love you, Harry. You're the stability I need in my life. I can't stand the thought of losing you, forever! I don't want that, Harry. I want you, and a Malfoy always gets what he wants."

Draco hugged Harry tightly, not wanting to let go as if afraid Harry would vanish if he did so. He was suddenly aware of the wetness from his neck and a tight grip on his back robe. He smiled, knowing that Harry hugged him back.

"Never again I will do this to you, for I feel the same misery myself. Never again I will let you slip away and find myself alone in the next morning without you, Harry. I've had enough experience of being uncertain and rejected. I love you Harry, please let me have you back?" Draco whispered gently. "I can't bear being alone, Harry. I know you understand that."

Harry's grip tightened, he gave a small nod as an answer. Draco smiled contentedly this time, "Thank you," he muttered while pulling away slightly.

He made no hesitation to capture the soft rose lips of Harry's with his. Draco devoured his sweet scent and taste, and realized how he really missed this.

"The memory of me that you will have, Harry…" Draco said once he pulled away. "Is only about you, me, and our happy family forever. I promise you that."

Draco scooped the man with happy tears and smile deep to his chest. And from a far, an ex-Professor smiled happily to them and made a mental note to inform this to a certain bushy-haired girl and a red-headed boy.

xXx

_finite_

**a/n: There, we did the final chapter. And this is for you, Erica. We hope you'll enjoy this. We know we're being very sappy, but we can't help it. _Sigh_. Enjoy and please review, okay? That will be a lot amount of motivation for us to keep writing another fics. And we're not planning about sequel. Oh yea… about the italic words from the previous and present chapters, they were not ours. We translated them, with all our best ability, into English from two song lyrics, simply because we see they fit with the story. Bye-bye. (don't forget the reviews!)**


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